Something to Ponder

“There is no joke to the brain.” 

 This was told to me this morning and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  It’s quite deep if you really think about it.  Things are black and white. The brain can’t process anything else.  I don’t know if I have worked all the way through it yet myself seeing that I have found a few things that I can’t say I agree with.  Such as if the brain says “you can” well then, surely you can do it.  But if your brain says “you can’t”, then where does overcoming fears come into play?

This has been applicable to me today seeing that I have to put myself out there again.  We have a friend who helped us tremendously when Joel was unemployed who is now on bedrest.  She is only a few weeks ahead of me and has been put on rest for another month.  This will be their second child.  So this week in Bible Study, I made mention that I have a hang up about bringing food to people for fear that they won’t like it, they’ll have an allergy to it, it won’t be good, I’ll be imposing…. the list goes on.  So needless to say, my brain says “NO.”  But the ladies challenged me and are going to hold me accountable for this one.  I made a loaf of zucchini (sp?) bread last night and I intend on dropping it by this evening in hopes of ministering to her a bit.  It has been on my mind all morning – I’m somewhat dreading it and yet I know that I will be blessed as a result of it.  I know the bread is good because I cut into the other loaf of it last night.  So after work this afternoon, I’ll make a phone call to see if it will be alright if I stop by for a few minutes.

 On another note.  My husband’s coworker (Gerry) has a  crib they are looking to divest and are willing to sell it to me.  I had dh ask questions about said crib so I wouldn’t have to stop by their house and say “no” to their faces.  There is that inferiority issue again.  When asking questions, Gerry cornered him and asked why we just didn’t come by tonight and check it out.  Not wanting to make excuses, just as my husband was going to tell him, Gerry said “she doesn’t want us to have our feelings hurt if she doesn’t want our crib.”  Well.  Yes.  That is correct.  The fact of the matter is, as soon as I heard that it was white, I said no.  I want a stained crib.  So while this too is an issue for me, it really wasn’t as soon as I knew the color.  But nonetheless.  I need to get over it.

So if I deal with my fears, does that mean the brain then turns that black spot into a white spot so to speak?  I really don’t know.  At some point people overcome their fears.  Things become easier, but does that mean the brain has changed?  Either way, I know I have to get over these issues of feeling inadequate or inferiorness.  It rules so many aspects of my life and yet I see so many areas that I have grown.  

Mom sent me my report cards yesterday.  K-10th were included.  I’m not sure where 11th and 12th grade are but I know I have them.  A few things stood out to me.  You can tell where I went to speech class to learn how to say my “r’s”.  You can tell the classes that I really didn’t like the teacher and then there are others that you can really see where my love of history came from.  (For the first 8 yrs, all my teachers wrote “she needs to pay more attention in social studies and physical science.” 9th grade – it all changed with Mr. Robertson and my grades reflected it.)  But one thing that really struck a chord with me is that in 6th grade my teacher wrote “She is a very mature young lady.”  Was I supposed to be mature?  Mom had at one time made the comment to me that I was mature at the age of 2.  I think she was right.  So niether here nor there, I’ve been mature my entire life.  Its just interesting.