An Effort in Futility???

The beginning of the year again marked the beginning of the diet.  This time I decided that I was bound and determined to exercise regardless of whether my doctor has told me to lose the weight with only the diet and no exercise.  I was going to work through the pain.  Based on many episodes of The Biggest Loser, I figured that if I did the diet and worked out like a fool 6 days a week I would be able to see some really great results rather quickly. And thus it began.

Nearly 2 1/2 weeks ago we started The Makers Diet and I started walking at work in the gym.  I walked both breaks and another 1/2 hour after work.  Since then I have walked a bare minimum of 2 miles for 6 days each week.  The only day that I have not worked out is on Saturdays.  Most days I shoot to walk 4 miles and now that I have a pedometer, my goal is to incorporate a bare minimum of 1 mile in normal walking around the office, etc.  I’ve done really well, or so I thought. 

When I first began I weighed myself using the scale at work.  The following week we bought our own scale.  I figured there would be some disparity between the two numbers but now I really don’t know what to think.  I figured I had lost 15 pounds between the two numbers realizing that it may not be completely accurate.  Sunday made it 18 pounds.  Yesterday however, completely bursted my bubble and threatened my resolve.  I once again got on the scale at work to see if I could figure out just how much disparity was really there.  A big whopping 3 pounds is all that that scale says that I have lost! 

Frustrated, I headed home to cook yet another meal with low carbs and water.  I weighed again and found that I was still at the same mark on the home scale as I had been when I figured I had lost 15 pounds.  Joel has tried to encourage me and tell me that I need to stick with the home scale and that it does look like I have lost.  I really have no choice but to continue.  My body has felt the benefits of walking and dieting for that matter.  My joints have bothered me only with the pressure changing which is a miracle.  So I guess in just a few minutes from now, I will yet again head downstairs to the gym to begin another mile on a rubber mat that goes in circles.  Talk about futility.  Today will only be 2 miles seeing that I have choir tonight.

My meal delivery went wonderful on Monday.  I ended up making scalloped potatoes and ham, sugar snap peas, and rolls.  My dessert was a peanut butter oatmeal bar w/ chocolate and peanut butter topping.  The babies were so sweet and little – just barely 6 pounds a piece.  By the time I got home, I didn’t quite have the energy to cook yet another meal so we ended up getting taco salads for our dinner.  I was encouraged though as my friend told me that she was excited that I was bringing them something and thus told her husband that she new it would be good because I’m “Martha.”

I signed up for Cake Decorating classes this past Sunday.  My classes will be throughout the month of February and then maybe I’ll take the intermediate class with a friend in March.  I’m looking forward to it though it is a step out of my comfort zone – I don’t know anyone else that will be taking the class with me.  Joel is excited for me as this has been something that I’ve really wanted to do for sometime now.  Hopefully my creative side will flourish with cake as my canvas.  Mom and Tia both say it will – we’ll see.

The political races are heating up here in Alabama so work is beginning to be much more chaotic.  I’m learning new things everyday and I enjoy being busy so it is rather welcomed.  It will be very interesting to see how my two bosses share me during the busiest season for both.  I’m amazed at how the political system really works – no one teaches you this stuff if you’re not directly involved.  November 7th I’m sure will be a day that we all will take a big sigh of relief when all is said and done.  Only then will time tell the results of our actions as those we have voted into office work on the behalf of farmers across the state.

Lily has taken to digging into my gym bag in the wee hours of the morning along w/ attacking my bathroom mats.  Mind you the gym bag does not make her daddy very happy as he is the only one that hears it.  I’m too dead to the world to hear much of anything.  The bathroom mats on the other hand crack me up.  She’ll squat at the door, wiggle her tail end as if she was a wind up toy, and take off as if she was stalking her prey.  She falls on the rug, rolls over, kicks, chews, and just about rolls herself in the rug.  She has yet to do anything of damage – it is usually short lived – so it’s not that big of a deal yet.  I’ve come to determine that Lily has the body of Donkey off Shrek.  Big body and short little legs.  She is a great source of comic relief most days.

I had the harsh reality hit me again this week that regardless of my desire to try to fix things for those in my family, I am unable to so.  There are so many things going on for everyone and I can’t make things better or even take some of the heat.   I want to help, it pains me that I can’t, and yet the only thing that I really can do is pray.  It seems to small and yet I know can be so huge.   Something so much a part of my nature is being stiffled and it can be so frustrating.  So, doing the only thing I can do, know that I’m praying for each of you regarding your various issues – you know who you are and what is going on.  This one thing I know, the prayers will not be futile.